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Italian
Dining Etiquette
Table
Setting
In Italy or elsewhere, an attractive table is a sign of welcome
to guests but also a symbol for the family. Obviously every family
has its own special ways to lay the table but some rules are common
to all.
  
- Tablecloth
or Place Mats
When Italian invite friends for a sit down dinner they lay the
table either with a tablecloth or place mats. The place mats are
usually in cloth or straw.
- Water
and Wine
Water should be served in decanters for a dinner
party. This holds true both for flat or mineral water. With
wine it is either decanted or served in its bottle, depending
on many factors like the quality of the wine, the number of
decanters you have and your taste. If your table is large you
should have the water and wine on both sides of the table for
easier pouring.
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Salt and Pepper, and Dressing
Salt and pepper are placed on the table either in individual
salt cellars or are passed from one guest to another. Because
Italians have a superstition about passing salt, they always
place it on the table and never pass it directly to another
guest's hand. Salad is often brought to table dressed, but can
be dressed individually. As the dressing is almost exclusively
olive oil and vinegar, this is easily brought to table in a
dispenser.
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Bread and Bread Sticks - Grissini
Italians always eat bread with their meal. But they do not butter
it so there will be no butter on the table. They serve bread
either in rolls or cut into thick slices. Since the Italians
break the bread into morsels with their fingers, a knife for
the bread is not provided on the table. Bread is served in a
breadbasket or set directly with the grissini on the individual
bread plates, which are usually made of silver. But, sometimes,
the bread can also be placed directly onto the tablecloth.
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Napkins
Italian place these on the right hand side folded either square
or in a triangle. At the end of the dinner party the napkin
is left unfolded on the right.
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Centerpiece
The usual centerpieces are a flower arrangement, a soup tureen
or a silver object.
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Seating Arrangements
Even in formal occasions like weddings it is rare to have assigned
places. The hostess will indicate to each guest where he or
she will sit when they arrive at table. The host and hostess
should sit opposite one another, on the right of the host the
most important or oldest lady and then in order of importance
or age on his left, the second, then right then left. The same
applies to the men on the right and left of the hostess. The
guests in between should be chosen to avoid husband and wife
sitting next to each other.
Place Setting
The illustrations show different place setting depending on the
menu. Generally, three-course meal is the most common formula.
  
- A three
course meal with pasta for starters and fresh fruit for dessert.
Pasta should be served on a flat plate not in a soup bowl. Do
not pile the plates for the different courses. Pasta is never
served directly onto the plates but always served when the guests
are seated. The fork for the pasta is the same size as the main
course fork and is placed on the left-hand side. The dessert
is fruit so a knife and fork are laid with the blade of the
knife pointing towards the left and the tines of the fork to
the right.
- A three
course meal with soup as a starter and a cake or pudding for
dessert.
Usually, the soup plate is placed on top of the main course
plate. But you can either serve from a soup tureen from the
table or present the soup already in the plate. The spoon for
the soup is on the right of the main course knife. The main
course knife should always have the blade side pointing towards
the plate. As the dessert is a cake or flan, a fork and spoon
are laid.
- Four
or five course meals
It is rare to eat antipasti and pasta or soups with a meat and
fish main course and then dessert or fruit. However if both
antipasti and the other starters are served, add another fork,
which is smaller than the main course forks, on the left-hand
side.
- Glasses
Formally, there are three glasses: a water tumbler and two wineglasses.
It is however more usual now, in a dinner with friends, to drink
just one wine throughout the meal. To position the glasses,
place the water tumbler like the dot of the "i" from
the point of the knife and then arrange the glasses like the
petals of a flower on the right hand side of the water glass.
- Family
meals
Lunch or dinner is the moment in which the family meets, discusses,
enjoys the food together and represents a daily occurrence.
Many families in fact eat twice a day at home as schools generally
give only morning lessons. For working women, this obviously
presents the problem of having something ready for when they
come home. This is solved with sandwiches, cold cuts or cheese,
pre-prepared food to be heated in the oven or microwave and
the older kids can cook a pasta or meat dish for themselves.
Many Italian women however prefer to rush home at lunchtime
to be with the kids, especially in smaller towns where shops
and offices close for a fairly long lunch hour. The table is
obviously set in a simpler way and many eat directly in the
kitchen.
The
Etiquette
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Spaghetti Etiquette
To eat spaghetti can be at first quite difficult for anyone
who approaches it for the first time. Even many Italians are
not so good at it. Spaghetti is banished from every official
banquet so that no guest will feel embarrassed. Therefore
don't feel discouraged and start eating: take your fork and
try the movement a few times on an empty plate; you must turn
it as if winding something, using your thumb, forefinger and
middle finger.
Now wind up a reasonable quantity of spaghetti onto your fork;
if at first you wind too many, try again until you get the
right amount. Put them into your mouth quickly using your
fork to help push in any spaghetti that remained outside.
 
- Hands
Italians keep their hands but not elbows on the table throughout
the meal.
- Starting
It is considered polite to wait for everyone to be served and
then to start eating together when the hostess or eldest lady
begins.
- End
of a Course
At the end of each course the knife and fork should be left
on the plate, parallel, facing north south.
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