| Five
Stages of Drunkenness |
|
|
Stage
1 - SMART
At this stage, you suddenly become an expert on
every subject in the known universe. You know
you know everything and you want to pass on your
knowledge to anyone who will listen. It is when
you are always "right" while, of course, the person
you are talking to is very "wrong". This makes
for an interesting argument when both parties
are "smart".
|
 |
|
|
|
Stage
2 - GOOD LOOKING
At this stage, you realize that you are the "best looking"
person in the entire pub and that people fancy you.
You can approach a perfect stranger, who, you think,
fancy you or really want to talk to you. You can talk
to this person on any topic because you are still "smart".
|
|
|
Stage
3 - RICH
At this stage, you suddenly become the richest person
in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire pub
because you have an armored truck full of money parked
behind the pub. And, of course, you are still "smart",
and thus you can make bets at this stage. The amount
you bet is not a matter to you since you are "rich".
You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy,
because you are now the "best looking" person in the
world.
|
|
|
Stage
4 - BULLETPROOF
At this stage, you are ready to pick fights with anyone
and everyone, especially those with whom you have been
betting or arguing. You can also go up to the partners
of the people whom you fancy and challenge them to a
battle of wits or money. You have no fear of losing
this battle because you are smart, rich and better looking
than them anyway.
|
|
|
Stage
5 - INVISIBLE
This is the final stage of Drunkenness. At this point
you can do anything, because no one can see you. You
dance on a table to impress the people whom you fancy
because the rest of the people in the room cannot see
you. You are also invisible to the person who wants
to fight you. You can walk through the street singing
at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear
you.
|
